I didn’t into consideration the fact that I have no transportation to get there, not on the bus line. I knew I had to either find a new place or quit a great job. I almost decided to just sleep at the factory and never leave.

While many people are receptive and supportive to attempts to make amends, some are not. And some people in your life may not be receptive on your timeline. Communicating about the way you harmed others can evoke strong emotions. If you have devoted the necessary time and energy to the first 8 steps, you should have a solid foundation from which to approach making amends in Step 9. Your relationship with a higher power—no matter how you define it—can help you to remain open and willing, even as you acknowledge hard truths about pain you have caused to others. Each person’s experience of addiction and recovery is unique.

To understand what living amends are is to understand the concept behind amends in a 12 step program.

Being specific also makes the amends that you offer more achievable. You may not be able to rectify “everything” you’ve done to the other person, but you can repair specific wrongs. Direct amends are not always possible or practical, but that doesn’t mean the individual is unable to demonstrate changed behavior. Volunteering for a worthwhile cause or supporting a charity living amends can be a valuable way to make amends. Direct amends refers to going directly to the wronged individual, apologizing and taking whatever action is necessary to correct a situation. If an individual damaged someone else’s home while they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, direct amends may require that they go to the property owner, apologize and repair damages.

• I have made many amends for my past while living as an alcoholic.
• We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally.
• They want to find ways of making up for all their past wrongs, and they don’t want to miss the opportunity to do so once their loved one dies.
• Her being German helped; I never had a German sponsor.

Older children will more clearly understand our explanations of addiction and how that affected us, but that doesn’t mean we should spend much time on the subject. He’s a teenager, so I try to let him function at that age level. When he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions. I let him decide if he wants to do laundry at midnight or wear dirty clothes. I no longer interrogate him about his day at school, so I can give my wise advice on how to handle difficult peers.

Indirect Amends And Living Amends

I can’t even begin to explain the over joyous feeling I had when she gave me this blessing. Had it not been for Whitney and the kindness of her heart, I don’t know where I would be today. I believe that without the scholarship, I would have had no choice but to move back home with my parents, resulting in a relapse. Because of the scholarship I received, I have been given the blessing of getting to live in a supportive home filled with other women working the program.